Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
