That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize