The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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