If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
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Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
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IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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