He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
