It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
