why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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