So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
