i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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