I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
