and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
