did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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