Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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