True but thats because hes a fetus.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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