I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
