this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
