I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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