My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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