My Higher Power is John Stamos
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We don't watch enough power rangers
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
