I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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