How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
