She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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