Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
