There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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