He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
