last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
