Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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