Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
