if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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