There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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