im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
