I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
