Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
