weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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