i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
