Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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