Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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