Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
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That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
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You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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