Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
