i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
