How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
