Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
