1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
