The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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