she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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