are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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