I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
