I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
