shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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