everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Couch. On fire.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
