So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
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I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
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Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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