Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
