I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
