I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
