I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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