Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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