Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
