Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She announced her abortion via fbk
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
