Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
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I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize