thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
