As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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