Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
