i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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