Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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