I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
