He asked me if I "almost moaned"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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