dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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