wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
