I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
